An inspiring story
I’m posting this to inspire you with the idea that however difficult and unhappy life gets, you can always turns it around.
Also highlighting the power of mindfulness and coaching to help you do that — if you really commit to it.
The story below was written by my client, Mouby, who was really struggling with her mental health when we first spoke. She did my 10-week programme and pretty much everything changed…
Anxious, depressed and stuck in toxic relationships
I was at a really low point and in the midst of trying to get away from a narcissistic, emotionally abusive ex, feeling really stripped of all self-confidence and self-esteem. I felt lost, confused, and totally disconnected from myself and everything important to me. I was having panic attacks. I was totally unable to trust myself and my own judgement, and I felt like I needed other people to tell me what I should do all the time.
I was unable to comfort myself and feel okay without other people. Every time I felt even a little bit anxious I would call or text someone. I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself or my life. I felt depressed, hopeless and still unable to break free from my abusive ex, who I felt traumatically attached to.
No strength left
I had started seeing a counsellor, and while it helped a little bit to hear an objective viewpoint on some of the things that were happening to me in my relationship, it wasn’t really helping me or making me feel better in any deep or lasting way. I had also self-referred for cognitive behavioural therapy and was waiting for an appointment.
I found myself in constant pain, crying, and unable to focus, study or complete everyday tasks. I felt as though my entire self-worth had been taken from me and I’d lost who I really was. My friends would remind me of how strong I used to be. I remembered, but I just couldn’t feel any strength inside myself anymore. In addition to this, I wasn’t eating well or taking care of myself well at all, and my Lupus had become more active.
A transformational first session
Then, my friend told me that Andy was giving a free mindfulness session, so I signed up. At the beginning of the call I told Andy something like ‘I can’t visualise, I’m not good at it’, but by the end of the session I was crying and visualising the most beautiful scene, and that is still part of my vision today. I knew straight away that mindfulness with Andy was what I wanted and needed to do. It wasn’t like anything else I’d tried or read, and I felt so moved by the meditation and beautiful simplicity of it; every part of it felt right and good, like I already knew somewhere inside myself that this was it.
Even after just the first session in the programme with Andy, everything started to shift. I felt I had hope, self-belief, vision and clarity, and all with a sense of excitement.
Finding peace through acceptance
As the weeks went by with more sessions, I turned all of my inner confusion, anxiety and distrust into a peaceful state of allowing and observing my feelings, and being able to be with them, experience them and allow them to guide and help me, instead of hindering me and feeling like I needed to stop them.
I learned that being alone with myself can feel like the most beautiful thing there is. I found that I could find all the comfort I needed inside myself, and all the answers too. I didn’t need to reach out and cling onto a friend, I could allow myself to fully experience what I am going through and then wait for the settling emotion to give me what I need.
I started to re-embrace my love of nature and finding the beauty in it. I started to write — a desire I had pushed down for years because of past fears, and I have now written poems that I have read out at events.
No going back
I am no longer allowing abusive people into my life and I am building confidence in developing healthier relationships. I am taking ownership of my own feelings and where they’re coming from, instead of feeling powerless while believing my emotions were controlled by other people’s actions. I’m feeling healthier in my body and have a better relationship with food, because I’m more loving and compassionate with myself and able to feel what I need.
I feel that I’ve changed my relationship with my Lupus. I am in less pain and have been able to lower the amount of medication I take. I can observe the pain in my body during meditation and accept it rather than ignoring it and trying to hide it. I have learned to allow some feelings to come out for the first time in my life, not even realising they were there before.
I finally got an appointment for cognitive behavioural therapy, and by the time I attended the clinic, I felt completely better. In fact, I felt wonderful! I was able to honestly say to the therapist that I wasn’t feeling any of the panic, anxiety and hopelessness that I had been feeling. She told me she was so happy to see that I’d found a way out on my own, and if only more people could do what I did. She said I didn’t need to be there at all. We spent my hour-long appointment talking about how I’d overcome my desperate situation and she said she really enjoyed talking to me and that I’d made her day.
It has been life-changing
Working with Andy has elevated me and changed my life. Even if I doubt myself for a moment, I know I can’t go back to where I was before; I’ve learned too much and am aware of too much for that to be possible.
I am so grateful I can’t say it enough. What Andy does is the core of everything there is. Any other programme or course you do, you’ll eventually realise that mindfulness is at the centre of it all. It all comes back to what Andy teaches.
I recommend him to everyone!
If you think this kind of process could help to you too, book a free one-hour taster session here.